On Saturday 3 November 2012 i can honestly say i experienced my first ever real heart pain, i have never in my life felt so helpless and hurt. You know one of them ones where a situation arises, you get notified about it and you sitting down when you're told and it makes you stand up on your feet in desperation? You want to go somewhere but you don't know where... Maybe you don't know what i mean and if that's the case i pray you never find out, but then again thats the reality check one might need!
I'm realising now that most of us are in the situations that we're in because we aren't angry enough to say "This stops now!" or "This changes now!!". I know we've heard this before but we are comfortable in our mess but i know that's not what God wants for us. You know, when i pray sometimes and i'm praying for change but i'm not desperate for change... don't know if anyone can identify with that. You want change but you don't want it enough that's why you still in that mess!
On Saturday i prayed to God out of a desperate heart, i begged God (believe me i have never begged God for anything, at least i don't remember begging God for anything) because i knew that only he had the power to turn things around and i say from my heart when i say this: You know that women with the alabaster box? or the one with the issue of blood? or Hannah who earnestly prayed for a son out of desperation because she knew only God could make it happen for her? i truly believe that was me on Saturday. I sat on my bed, my face covered in tears and i declared that things were going to change that very same day, i said God i trust you, i trust what you can do and i know by Your Spirit You can do this and guess what? By the end of the day the situation was turned around, it happened just as i had prayed for it.
I do have to say God always has me prepared for whatever comes my way. The whole of last week i was meditating on Psalm 20:7 and it says 'some trust in chariots and some in horses but we trust in the name of the Lord our God' And so when i heard the news i didn't doubt that i could trust God so i'm happy God has blessed us with his Word because it kept me kind of calm, well i wasnt calm but i trusted God,lol, i desperately trusted Him!
I think sometimes we dilly dally with our prayer life, i mean why should you continually have pain in your life? Why should you continually be in crazy situations when we serve a living God? We have been given the greatest name, and that's the name of Jesus and whatever we ask for in His name we already have it!
I spoke to my aunt on this day, i was in tears and she said something very profound to me, she told me she knew i was a prayerful person and she reminded me that a prayerful person doesnt just cry, a prayerful person prays! i promise i'll never forget this and i want ya'll to know that you don't have to stay stuck in your mess. The bible says you shall decree a thing and it shall be established but until we've had enough of our mess, until we get desperate for change in our lives we'll never be whole, ever!
im touched..and inspired
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