i never thought i was ugly but i never thought i was beautiful...

'Hezekiah stops on a clearing without trees and looks up into the night. "What makes the sky beautiful?" he says. I look up, then over at him, wondering where the question came from, and what the right answer is. "Is it the stars?" He asks. "The moon? Is it the clear blue of daytime? Or maybe blue with puffy white clouds? Sunrise? Sunset? All of these things make the sky beautiful, don't they? Variety-from sky blue to dusky oranges and reds to the black of night. But i think it's more than that." He drops my hand and spreads his arms upward. "It's beautiful because the God of heaven made it. He is beautiful'

The quote above is from Kim Cash Tate's book Heavenly places which i have enjoyed reading immensely! As i say every time i read her books- she always challenges me. Heavenly places taught me a whole lot. I remember when i was growing up i didn't fit in anywhere. I remember being told that when i was young i was ugly, though they now use the word ugly in the past tense  cant help but feel insecure about the way i look. Everyone, well almost everyone pointed out what was different about me, that i'm tall for a girl, my fingers are long, my face is long, my toes are long, my nose s big, i have a lisp-i talk funny etc but nobody ever told me that all those features are also beautiful. I cant lie and say i think i'm ugly because that would be a lie but i just find it hard to believe when someone tells me i'm beautiful and just like Treva in the book i just cant receive it. The other day i was sat with a guy and we were talking about something and he told me that i'm beautiful and my instant response was "Really?" and he assured me,lol, the 'really wasn't meant to be out loud, it was honestly meant to stay in my head. Every time someone calls me beautiful my mind races back to when someone once saw a guy i was dating(who was very handsome) and the words she said to me were 'Chi people like you arent supposed to date guys like that, its people like me that should' i responded lightly, what could  say to a girl who had said to my face i didn't look like i could date a handsome guy,lol, its funny now that i think about it, how people will make others feel inferior so that they may feel superior. In all my grown up life only two people dared to call me 'not beautiful' and sometimes that drowns every other voice that has ever told me i'm beautiful. I've never thought i was ugly but i've never thought i was beautiful either, i just thought i was... nothing to look at really, nothing special about me.... except there's everything special about me. See just as Hezekiah says in the above quote what makes the sky beautiful is not only the blue sky, the gorgeous puffy clouds and all that, so much more makes it beautiful. Not only one thing that makes me beautiful, nope! It's my long face, my big nose, my ears, lisp that makes me talk funny, my skin colour and shade, not only my lovely kinky hair or just my body shape but its a combination of all these features but above all of this its the fact that God made me, there's nothing wrong with the way i look. God has always tells me that only the one one who made me can tell me when any part of me too big or too small so in conclusion, i was never ugly and  never will be, my face isn't too long, my nails and fingers arent too long, neither are my toes, my hips aint too big. I love the way i look and i cant imagine myself looking any different and this is God's honest truth. I used to be insecure about my insecurities and this is the first time i'm sharing this in public, i know there's many people out there who are insecure about their looks for all sorts of reasons  but you are beautiful and i know it sounds cliche but trust me, God made you the way you are on purpose
i waved 'bye bye' to insecurities-i'm free!
Be careful what words you speak to others because you never know what you may plant n someone's life, forgive those that trespass against you, and always remember you are fearfully and wonderfully made-you are not flawed in your make-up. Don't believe what they say, believe what God says.

i encourage all ya'll to get all of Kim Cash Tate's books, i learn so much every time and i'm currently waiting for her next one ;)

love ya'll gorgeous people

Scars... are they really permanent??

So one day i was at work and there was a pipe that's white in color but it had a red mark on it and clearly this white mark has not always been there. I figured that anyone else  that tried to clean the red mark off probably failed as i did and so it seemed the red mark had become a permanent mark and everyone was used to it that way. Well... i began to realise how we do the very same thing.

I'm sure at some point we've all been through some sort of craziness and that's ok, it's a part of life. Some of these experiences leave us scarred and sometimes it seems it's for life but that's never the case. A guy once said to me 'no condition is permanent' after i had told him he shouldn't bother asking me out cause i already had a boyfriend(which was a lie) and he said he would keep trying because 'no condition is permanent', he was convinced i would be single at some point. Anyway, my point is when we've been hurt that's the same kind of approach i think we should take. I didn't date the guy but i'm certainly running with his phrase.
If it hurts you then its not a part of you so don't accept it regardless of how long the scar/situation has been there. I actually believe that everything can be fixed, YES, everything that has a maker can be fixed and that includes you and i. Your heart can be fixed if someone or some people broke it, the one who made your heart knows exactly how to fix it. Your health can be fixed because God who made you knows exactly how.
There is nothing God cannot do and if you hold on to anything let it be that word, just put your trust in your maker and all will fall into place. Some scars may take longer to get rid of, some wounds may take longer to heal, some situations will seem like they're here to stay... do not believe it,its a lie from the pits of hell!

always remember to pray about everything, the name of Jesus has great power ;)

what is life really about though??

Well... I've just finished reading a book by Kim Cash Tate called Hope Springs and i loved it! That book has taught me so much and it got me thinking. Her books always challenge me as a christian and i love that even more. My friend asked me what God was saying to me this morning...well now its yesterday morning and i said i'm about to finish this book and i'll let you know. So i'm going to share it with you readers as well, this is what i learnt from Kim Cash Tate's book:

Life is not always about what you want or how you want it to be.
You can't be selfish and inconsiderate of others, its not okay,
You wont always get what you want when you want it...sometimes you wont get it at all!
No matter how it feels, some decisions you need to make are going to have to be sacrificial&selfless,
The secret is to pray about everything and to trust God and that He knows best even when it hurts the most.
Every choice you make has consequences no matter how little or how big so you can choose to hold on to past hurts and pains OR you can choose to allow God to help you deal with it and let it go...
Open your mouth, open your heart, open your journal and pick up your pen- do whatever you need to do to talk to God and tell him exactly how you feel because only you know how...

Does He/She like you enough though or you're just being taken for a ride?

I was having a chat with one of my friends and we were talking about guys that string you along and yet they never tell you they like you, or that they want to be with you. These guys will treat you like you're their girl sometimes, and sometimes like you're just a friend and sometimes they are nowhere to be found. I'm going to tell you what i think will be going on based on how i think sometimes (yes me).

If you've had a fling with a guy for months upon months and sometimes even years and yet you still don't know where you stand with him please allow me to put things into perspective for you:

 This guy likes you but not enough to be with you or to make it official, he'll keep you around while he searches for exactly what he wants and if he doesn't find it he will settle for you! In the meantime you're chasing away guys that want to be with you because it's him you want to be with... aint that sad?

 Ofcourse i'm not an expert, i'm just a girl who's done the same thing to a few guys. Sometimes I didn't like a guy enough to be with him officially but i'll string him along just incase and just for fun, yes it sounds dumb but i used to do that.

 Sometimes you're hanging in there in the hope that things will change, maybe he'll fall in love you eventually, maybe you'll have 'the talk' eventually, maybe he'll see i'm the one eventually....well,maybe all these things might happen eventually...but then maybe not, so why let someone take you for a ride and ditch you when they're done? Why allow yourself to be in a situation that will cause your heart to be broken eventually? 

The bible says with good reason "Above ALL else guard your heart because it is the well spring of life". When someone is clearly playing games with you and you're in denial you'll end up getting hurt and that's when you conclude that all men are dogs, nah not all men are dogs, just that one that dogged you. If someone doesn't seem interested in you enough then they probably aren't so don't allow them to mess with your heart because always remember that every decision you make is based on the condition of your heart, and if your heart is broken then....Need i say more?

So today ask yourself "Are they taking me for ride, taking their time or are they just not that into me?"

Love yourself enough to never allow any guy or girl to mess with you, realise that God has kept for you that one person that will rock your world! Your creator says this of you "You are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession..." (1 Peter 2:9) You're not just anybody.

Dear fellas, to the making of beautiful women there is no end.

Dear ladies, to the making of handsome men there is no end.

Just because someone is good looking doesn't mean they're good for you.

As for me, i don't care how gorgeous you are or how much money you have or what a fresh body you have, if you try to mess with me and my heart you're gone! But i had to learn to love myself, i had to come to terms with who i really am.

Only the one who makes me happy will make me stay...

The Beauty of a Good God-Psalm 147

Isn't it amazing how God just sends a command to the earth and His Word runs swiftly(verse 15)? Think about it, what word is he sending your way? what word is he NOT sending your way?

Compromising Christians

As a christian there are so many things i've said i would never do or things that i know i should not do. Most of the time this works but only for a while because most of the time i almost always decide to compromise in what i think may be a small way. But i've realised that once you start to compromise just a little bit you begin to compromise more and more, and the more you compromise the deeper you go and before you know it you've put aside what you really stand for or what you stood for in the first place. From now on i am deciding to die daily to the flesh because the moment we forget to die to the flesh is the moment we forget that we are not our own and so therefore we cannot do what we want. We belong to God and very often we cannot do what we want and please God...one of us has to give and it better be me and you!

Repent or Perish!!!

Repent or Perish!!
Luke 13:6-8

It is so easy for us to say 'I repent' yet we haven't actually repented. In this parable a man plants a fig tree and for years the fig tree produces no fruit and he decides to cut it down. The man who took care of the vineyard asked him to leave it alone for one more year,if it bears nothing then cut it down.

The fig tree represents us christians,the owner of the vineyard is God and the one who takes care of the vineyard is Jesus. We have been planted here on earth by purpose and for many different reasons many of us are not living out the purpose. Instead we have become comfortable because we feel we are safe, we don't preach the word of God,we don't use the talents and gifts God gave us to glorify Him and to bring many more to repentance. God is not pleased with this. God expects us to do what He said,to follow His commands even when it hurts the most.

Let's not feel safe or comfortable,make use of what God has given you,work with that and produce fruit,God is pleased with that. We are not saved for ourselves but we are saved to do the will of God,to change the lives of many for better.

True repentance is turning away from sin and walking in the will of God. Let's ask God for strength to do just that for we know it pleases God to bless us. Stay blessed