what's the point though?

I'm sitting in my bed thinking 'what is life really about?' I know the question gets asked a lot but am i the only who thinks if i die today or tonight what's going to make my life count? What have i done to touch the world? What have i done to change a life? I was talking to someone yesterday and she was telling me how someone told her to change her friends because they are uneducated.... Is this how shallow human beings are? A degree is what qualifies us? I watched a video today of a man who has dedicated his life to feeding the hungry and homeless, isnt that amazing? Isn't that what life is about? I know most consider the finer things in life to be material things, living a certain standard of life but is that all there is though? I say the finer things in life consist of loving the supposedly unlovable and the supposedly undeserving, giving to the needy and homeless, being there for one another unconditionally, give your time, give your money, lend a shoulder... these are some of the satisfying things in life believe it or not. 

I choose to touch the world, one of my favourite poets says "I may not change the world, but i will touch it" so i, Chiedza Bvundura, say "I may not change the world, but i will touch it and i cannot fail at it other wise- what's the point?"

We're here only for a little while, make it count and make God your number one ;)

What happens when we get desperate??

Above everything else in my life i want to honour the God that i serve, He never fails... He NEVER fails!

On Saturday 3 November 2012 i can honestly say i experienced my first ever real heart pain, i have never in my life felt so helpless and hurt. You know one of them ones where a situation arises, you get notified about it and you sitting down when you're told and it makes you stand up on your feet in desperation? You want to go somewhere but you don't know where... Maybe you don't know what i mean and if that's the case i pray you never find out, but then again thats the reality check one might need!

I'm realising now that most of us are in the situations that we're in because we aren't angry enough to say "This stops now!" or "This changes now!!". I know we've heard this before but we are comfortable in our mess but i know that's not what God wants for us. You know, when i pray sometimes and i'm praying for change but i'm not desperate for change... don't know if anyone can identify with that. You want change but you don't want it enough that's why you still in that mess!

On Saturday i prayed to God out of a desperate heart, i begged God (believe me i have never begged God for anything, at least i don't remember begging God for anything) because i knew that only he had the power to turn things around and i say from my heart when i say this: You know that women with the alabaster box? or the one with the issue of blood? or Hannah who earnestly prayed for a son out of desperation because she knew only God could make it happen for her? i truly believe that was me on Saturday. I sat on my bed, my face covered in tears and i declared that things were going to change that very same day, i said God i trust you, i trust what you can do and i know by Your Spirit You can do this and guess what? By the end of the day the situation was turned around, it happened just as i had prayed for it.

I do have to say God always has me prepared for whatever comes my way. The whole of last week i was meditating on Psalm 20:7 and it says 'some trust in chariots and some in horses but we trust in the name of the Lord our God'  And so when i heard the news i didn't doubt that i could trust God so i'm happy God has blessed us with his Word because it kept me kind of calm, well i wasnt calm but i trusted God,lol, i desperately trusted Him! 

I think sometimes we dilly dally with our prayer life, i mean why should you continually have pain in your life? Why should you continually be in crazy situations when we serve a living God? We have been given the greatest name, and that's the name of Jesus and whatever we ask for in His name we already have it! 

I spoke to my aunt on this day, i was in tears and she said something very profound to me, she told me she knew i was a prayerful person and she reminded me that a prayerful person doesnt just cry, a prayerful person prays! i promise i'll never forget this and i want ya'll to know that you don't have to stay stuck in your mess. The bible says you shall decree a thing and it shall be established but until we've had enough of our mess, until we get desperate for change in our lives we'll never be whole, ever! 

Please let's get desperate for change and we'll see change, the bible shows this so many times!

Thinking in the shower instead of singing in the shower...why do we make fun of God??

I spend a lot of time in the shower, i love hot water so i just stand there till...till whatever time i get out! lol but i have to say my shower thoughts are the best thoughts because they are uninterrupted by anything or anyone. God is free to download His own thoughts into me. I'm able to see things with so much clarity. I know i'm not even the only one. I would go as far as to say the best ideas ever were thought of while someone was in the shower, but that's just a maybe because i wouldn't know for sure. I know a lot of people sing while in the shower but some of us just 'think'...well sometimes i sing too but not too loud.
Stop singing and think!! Ok, you don't have to but just try it. *wink*

Anyway, while in the shower today somehow my mind drifted to people. I thought about how it's not ok for anyone to call anyone ugly. I've always said 'only the one who made something can call it ugly because only he knows how it was supposed to come out', am i right or am i right? I'm soooo right!!

 So i imagined a kid making fun of another kid because they had a big head (supposedly) and the big headed kid went on to ask the other kid if they wanted to be taller and he replied 'yes'. 'So why don't you just do it then, make yourself taller?' the big headed kid asked. 'Because i don't have the ability to do so' the other kid said with his face saying that's an obvious answer! 'So do you think i made my own head like this?' Big headed kid asked. 'No...' the other kid answered tentatively. 'Why?' Big headed kid asked again. The other kid remains silent before hesitantly answering 'Because you don't have the ability to do so'. Big headed smiled and said 'i rest my case' as he walked away.

*The end*

So my point is this: When you call something ugly you offend and insult the maker of it. It is sad that we make other people feel ugly for looking different and the thing is they can't change the way they look. Personally i am guilty of this but i have been trying to see everyone in the light of God.

I paint, i write, i draw and if i, for example, painted something that i envisioned in my head and it came out the exact way i wanted it to and when i showed it to someone and they thought it was ugly i'll be thinking 'that's offensive because you didn't see what i saw in my imagination world this piece is perfect!!'. 

In my last blog i said i hated winter and it's like my song every single winter because i'm constantly saying it but i take it back. I don't hate winter anymore, winter is cold and i don't like being cold but the one who made winter made it perfect so i'm not gonna hate on it...not anymore...i shall try my best.

The next time you want to call someone ugly imagine how God feels because all he sees is awesomeness!!

love you lovelies, i'm off to work...in the beautiful cold winter *wink* 

How about making up our minds before making up our minds?

so i have no plan for what i'm going to write on here so i'm going to be random. i'm at my house, in my room which i hardly ever leave, i never want to leave the house. It's cold and i really hate the cold weather, sometimes i say i wish God would eliminate winter but i don't think thats what i really want,lol. Now that i've said that i've just realised that sometimes we want something so much right, but when we finally get it we realise we didn't want it at all. I recently made a decision and i didn't like the results!! I made this decision after days of thinking about it because i wanted to make sure i was sure but after the decision was made i realised i was never sure, i had made up my mind from the first day i decided i was going to think about it. Now i'm stuck with this decision and i keep praying that God would help me reverse the situation because i can honestly say i think i made a mistake. So let me say this: if you say you're going to think about something please actually think about it and weigh the options as in actually weigh the options so that you don't regret it. I know that a lot of us have already made up our minds when we decide we're trying to make a decision. I once read somewhere that if you think you're confused flip a coin for the decision and while the coin is in the air you'll hope for just one thing and that one thing you hoped for needless to say is what you really want. Makes sense right? I knoooow! lol

i never thought i was ugly but i never thought i was beautiful...

'Hezekiah stops on a clearing without trees and looks up into the night. "What makes the sky beautiful?" he says. I look up, then over at him, wondering where the question came from, and what the right answer is. "Is it the stars?" He asks. "The moon? Is it the clear blue of daytime? Or maybe blue with puffy white clouds? Sunrise? Sunset? All of these things make the sky beautiful, don't they? Variety-from sky blue to dusky oranges and reds to the black of night. But i think it's more than that." He drops my hand and spreads his arms upward. "It's beautiful because the God of heaven made it. He is beautiful'

The quote above is from Kim Cash Tate's book Heavenly places which i have enjoyed reading immensely! As i say every time i read her books- she always challenges me. Heavenly places taught me a whole lot. I remember when i was growing up i didn't fit in anywhere. I remember being told that when i was young i was ugly, though they now use the word ugly in the past tense  cant help but feel insecure about the way i look. Everyone, well almost everyone pointed out what was different about me, that i'm tall for a girl, my fingers are long, my face is long, my toes are long, my nose s big, i have a lisp-i talk funny etc but nobody ever told me that all those features are also beautiful. I cant lie and say i think i'm ugly because that would be a lie but i just find it hard to believe when someone tells me i'm beautiful and just like Treva in the book i just cant receive it. The other day i was sat with a guy and we were talking about something and he told me that i'm beautiful and my instant response was "Really?" and he assured me,lol, the 'really wasn't meant to be out loud, it was honestly meant to stay in my head. Every time someone calls me beautiful my mind races back to when someone once saw a guy i was dating(who was very handsome) and the words she said to me were 'Chi people like you arent supposed to date guys like that, its people like me that should' i responded lightly, what could  say to a girl who had said to my face i didn't look like i could date a handsome guy,lol, its funny now that i think about it, how people will make others feel inferior so that they may feel superior. In all my grown up life only two people dared to call me 'not beautiful' and sometimes that drowns every other voice that has ever told me i'm beautiful. I've never thought i was ugly but i've never thought i was beautiful either, i just thought i was... nothing to look at really, nothing special about me.... except there's everything special about me. See just as Hezekiah says in the above quote what makes the sky beautiful is not only the blue sky, the gorgeous puffy clouds and all that, so much more makes it beautiful. Not only one thing that makes me beautiful, nope! It's my long face, my big nose, my ears, lisp that makes me talk funny, my skin colour and shade, not only my lovely kinky hair or just my body shape but its a combination of all these features but above all of this its the fact that God made me, there's nothing wrong with the way i look. God has always tells me that only the one one who made me can tell me when any part of me too big or too small so in conclusion, i was never ugly and  never will be, my face isn't too long, my nails and fingers arent too long, neither are my toes, my hips aint too big. I love the way i look and i cant imagine myself looking any different and this is God's honest truth. I used to be insecure about my insecurities and this is the first time i'm sharing this in public, i know there's many people out there who are insecure about their looks for all sorts of reasons  but you are beautiful and i know it sounds cliche but trust me, God made you the way you are on purpose
i waved 'bye bye' to insecurities-i'm free!
Be careful what words you speak to others because you never know what you may plant n someone's life, forgive those that trespass against you, and always remember you are fearfully and wonderfully made-you are not flawed in your make-up. Don't believe what they say, believe what God says.

i encourage all ya'll to get all of Kim Cash Tate's books, i learn so much every time and i'm currently waiting for her next one ;)

love ya'll gorgeous people

Scars... are they really permanent??

So one day i was at work and there was a pipe that's white in color but it had a red mark on it and clearly this white mark has not always been there. I figured that anyone else  that tried to clean the red mark off probably failed as i did and so it seemed the red mark had become a permanent mark and everyone was used to it that way. Well... i began to realise how we do the very same thing.

I'm sure at some point we've all been through some sort of craziness and that's ok, it's a part of life. Some of these experiences leave us scarred and sometimes it seems it's for life but that's never the case. A guy once said to me 'no condition is permanent' after i had told him he shouldn't bother asking me out cause i already had a boyfriend(which was a lie) and he said he would keep trying because 'no condition is permanent', he was convinced i would be single at some point. Anyway, my point is when we've been hurt that's the same kind of approach i think we should take. I didn't date the guy but i'm certainly running with his phrase.
If it hurts you then its not a part of you so don't accept it regardless of how long the scar/situation has been there. I actually believe that everything can be fixed, YES, everything that has a maker can be fixed and that includes you and i. Your heart can be fixed if someone or some people broke it, the one who made your heart knows exactly how to fix it. Your health can be fixed because God who made you knows exactly how.
There is nothing God cannot do and if you hold on to anything let it be that word, just put your trust in your maker and all will fall into place. Some scars may take longer to get rid of, some wounds may take longer to heal, some situations will seem like they're here to stay... do not believe it,its a lie from the pits of hell!

always remember to pray about everything, the name of Jesus has great power ;)

what is life really about though??

Well... I've just finished reading a book by Kim Cash Tate called Hope Springs and i loved it! That book has taught me so much and it got me thinking. Her books always challenge me as a christian and i love that even more. My friend asked me what God was saying to me this morning...well now its yesterday morning and i said i'm about to finish this book and i'll let you know. So i'm going to share it with you readers as well, this is what i learnt from Kim Cash Tate's book:

Life is not always about what you want or how you want it to be.
You can't be selfish and inconsiderate of others, its not okay,
You wont always get what you want when you want it...sometimes you wont get it at all!
No matter how it feels, some decisions you need to make are going to have to be sacrificial&selfless,
The secret is to pray about everything and to trust God and that He knows best even when it hurts the most.
Every choice you make has consequences no matter how little or how big so you can choose to hold on to past hurts and pains OR you can choose to allow God to help you deal with it and let it go...
Open your mouth, open your heart, open your journal and pick up your pen- do whatever you need to do to talk to God and tell him exactly how you feel because only you know how...

Does He/She like you enough though or you're just being taken for a ride?

I was having a chat with one of my friends and we were talking about guys that string you along and yet they never tell you they like you, or that they want to be with you. These guys will treat you like you're their girl sometimes, and sometimes like you're just a friend and sometimes they are nowhere to be found. I'm going to tell you what i think will be going on based on how i think sometimes (yes me).

If you've had a fling with a guy for months upon months and sometimes even years and yet you still don't know where you stand with him please allow me to put things into perspective for you:

 This guy likes you but not enough to be with you or to make it official, he'll keep you around while he searches for exactly what he wants and if he doesn't find it he will settle for you! In the meantime you're chasing away guys that want to be with you because it's him you want to be with... aint that sad?

 Ofcourse i'm not an expert, i'm just a girl who's done the same thing to a few guys. Sometimes I didn't like a guy enough to be with him officially but i'll string him along just incase and just for fun, yes it sounds dumb but i used to do that.

 Sometimes you're hanging in there in the hope that things will change, maybe he'll fall in love you eventually, maybe you'll have 'the talk' eventually, maybe he'll see i'm the one eventually....well,maybe all these things might happen eventually...but then maybe not, so why let someone take you for a ride and ditch you when they're done? Why allow yourself to be in a situation that will cause your heart to be broken eventually? 

The bible says with good reason "Above ALL else guard your heart because it is the well spring of life". When someone is clearly playing games with you and you're in denial you'll end up getting hurt and that's when you conclude that all men are dogs, nah not all men are dogs, just that one that dogged you. If someone doesn't seem interested in you enough then they probably aren't so don't allow them to mess with your heart because always remember that every decision you make is based on the condition of your heart, and if your heart is broken then....Need i say more?

So today ask yourself "Are they taking me for ride, taking their time or are they just not that into me?"

Love yourself enough to never allow any guy or girl to mess with you, realise that God has kept for you that one person that will rock your world! Your creator says this of you "You are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession..." (1 Peter 2:9) You're not just anybody.

Dear fellas, to the making of beautiful women there is no end.

Dear ladies, to the making of handsome men there is no end.

Just because someone is good looking doesn't mean they're good for you.

As for me, i don't care how gorgeous you are or how much money you have or what a fresh body you have, if you try to mess with me and my heart you're gone! But i had to learn to love myself, i had to come to terms with who i really am.

Only the one who makes me happy will make me stay...

The Beauty of a Good God-Psalm 147

Isn't it amazing how God just sends a command to the earth and His Word runs swiftly(verse 15)? Think about it, what word is he sending your way? what word is he NOT sending your way?